why don't you give me some love

I figure if I have 20 hours until a paper is due and I have between 2-3 hours left of work on it, I really don't need to start that now. Right?

This weekend has been pretty okay. I didn't accomplish as much as I would have liked, but it was a nice break. I need to do so much more tonight and basically right now. That's okay, though. I'm doing fine.
(Yeahright.)

It's been nice having campus be quiet for once. It's like I could hear my thoughts again. Some people wouldn't like it as much, I don't think. We don't always like the space rattling around our own heads. I'm looking at pictures from thanksgiving break back in Nashville and it would have been nice to see all my friends, but I can't honestly say that I'm sorry I missed it. I'm glad I was here. I don't even know how long I want to stay for Christmas. It feels like that's just not a part of my life anymore. I don't mean the people. I love my friends, but...why can't they come here? Boo. :(

I love James Blunt's new cd. I really should buy it instead of listening to it on this girl's Itunes Library.

So, a couple of days ago, someone tried to sell me a Ganesha pendant made out of carved cow bone. It was a beautiful pendant, but I turned it down. I don't think I would want to wear cow bone around my neck, no matter how lovely. Also, Ganesha is a Hindu god. Doess anyone else see the irony there?

Thanksgiving

Blogs are much more interesting when people update them. Sorry to anyone reading this.

I spent Thanksgiving with Lauren and her family. It was wonderful. They were all friendly, and conversational and interesting. It was so nice to spend the holiday with people who can hold an interesting and engaging conversation and who, in turn, are interested in listening as you hold up your end. It was really nice, and I had a great time. Lauren is so sweet, and her mom is amazing. I loved meeting everyone.

I really do miss some people from home, though. I was thinking today about Mackie, Sarah, and Shay and what a good time we all had. I haven't talked to Sarah and Shay in a long time. (I didn't even see Shay's wedding.) :( I don't miss Nashville, but I hate that I've lost touch with people. That's why it'll be good to go back at Christmas, even if I don't really need to.

Speaking of Christmas, I think I'm starting my shopping tomorrow. It's not like I have anything else to do (except those two papers, and my French assignment, and my Theatre final...).
♥

PS: Seth Green's character on this week's Grey's Anatomy is totally the kind of guy I want to date. If you're that guy, call me. Otherwise, I'm going to have to find some other way to get over two, very wrong, simultaneous crushes. Help a girl out?

"Yeah, in the South we weren't Jewish. We were Italian."

I got to see Eric in Hollywood this weekend. It was so nice to see him, because you need ties to people. Hanging out with him was also really good because we hadn't really hung out in over a year, and we used to be really good friends. This felt a little like picking up where we left off, which was nice.
Hollywood is a fun area. I wish I could spend more time there. A guy came up to me in Starbucks, took my hand and asked how I was. I talked to him for a few minutes, he asked if I was looking to make any new friends and when I said not really, he said, "Well, okay. Thank you. You know, usually, beautiful girls like you don't talk to me." I smiled and said you're welcome, and then I got my coffee. It was a good night.
Only in Los Angeles.

I've been talking to a lot of people about what Nashville's like. It's not bad, and it's a cool place to visit, but I don't want to live there anymore. And I really don't want to go back to the South. It was fun talking to Lauren about her experiences as an outsider there (apparently her family went to a Bluegrass club in East Nashville). She understood why I'd want to leave, which is more than I can say for most of the people who either live there, or have never been.

Also, can I just say that I'm crazy jealous that Sarah got to party with Eddie Izzard and Orlando Bloom? Bitchhh. (just kidding)
Ah, well. I've got time.

PS: Oh my god. I'm reading a novel for class where the main character is singing about peristalsis. I love my life.

weine o Madchen von Inistore

I'm watching Babel right now. It's a really good film, but what amazes me is the ability of a teenage girl to be whiny through sign language.
Three little birds just landed on my window. It's really sweet, and kinda cool. I don't see a lot of wildlife these days. Squirrels on campus are hella funny though.

Choir concert was last night, and even though I was exhausted, stressed, and a little sick, once I hit that stage it was like everything was okay again. It reminded me why I loved singing, and why I love performing. It's about bringing beauty to people and letting them experience it through you. That's what I want to do with the rest of my life. I'm a performer. That's not all I am, but it's kind of what I'm called to.

Weird the things you realize sometimes.

tried to make me go to rehab, i said no no no

I gave a homeless man a brownie today, and the guy sitting next to me at the bus stop was so touched that he paid my fare. He said, "What you just did, people don't do that around here." I don't really believe that. You find kindness anywhere, if you look hard enough. What's interesting is that I'm honestly not that nice of a person, I don't think. I'm pragmatic to the extreme, and often times I'm cold and calculating. It didn't cost me anything to give the man a brownie, and it made several people's days a little better. Why not do it?

He also said that people in Los Angeles just aren't genuine. I don't know what made him think I was. I like Los Angeles. I like the people. They're genuine enough for me. I guess maybe I'm not the best judge though.

I'm really, truly worried about Amy Winehouse. If her life keeps going on the way it is, she's going to go down in history as another Jim Morrison, another Kurt Cobain, another Sid Vicious. She's so talented, but she's in a toxic relationship and it's slowly destroying her. Her relationship with Blake is personified in her relationship with drugs. She's addicted to both. Badly so.
I know a little bit about that feeling. Enough to know that she is an example of what happens when it goes to extremes. Tragedy. God, it really is. I hate that there's nothing I can do.

Is that irrational?

holding steady

So, I saw an amazing show tonight. It was The Hold Steady with Art Brut and a local LA band called The Blood Arm. So, freaking good.
I really think, at some point, I'd like to make Jasper Future my lover. (He's the guitarist for Art Brut, who, if you didn't know, are this really awesome English rock band.)
In all seriousness though, both they and the Hold Steady put on an amazing show. I should know. I was on the front row for most of it. There's just something really powerful about basically being inside the sound of the guitars with an entire crowd of people pressing up on you, everyone feeling the same ecstasy as you are. It was somewhere between an orgasm and a religious experience. Either way, by the end it was hard to stand up.

I'm going to be rather deaf tomorrow, but it was so very worth it.

PS: Howard Shore, the same guy who did the music for Lord of the Rings, also did the score for Silence of the Lambs (which is my homework tonight).

My best friend-DEAD...and in heels!

I saw the BNT show on Friday night. It was very long, but really good. Honestly, the writing was good in all the pieces, but I liked the funny ones the best. From 11 to 1:30 on a Friday night, I'd rather be laughing...or tripping. The last piece provided that. (It was called Turkeygoose, if that give you any indication of its trippiness).

Then, last night, I saw Pentecost. It's an amazing show and I really pity anyone who didn't see it this weekend. The whole cast did a phenomenal job, especially since over half of them were speaking languages that they didn't know, and using accents not their own. The writing of the play is incredible too, which is why I was a little disappoointed by the David Edgar Q&A. He was very nonchalent about everything, and a little cold. Still, the play was good, so I can't complain. I would have liked to have heard the director speak a little more, but he's faculty here so I guess I can go talk to him about it if I want to.

I'm hella pissed that I missed the screening of Southland Tales with Richard Kelly. Holy fuck, I'm basically seething.
I'll get over it eventually. Maybe.

Rehersals for King Lear are going really well. We had a workshop that tried to put us in touch with our masculine sides. It was interesting, but I think also helpful. I really like this cast and this show.

I had more to say, but I forgot what it was. A capella auditions this week. I may or may not go. Eric next weekend, so yay. Everything's pretty good.
And we won the homecoming game. hell yes.

Boo :(

So, I missed out on World Vegan Day. It was today, and I totally had milk in my latte. Aside from lattes, and the occasional frozen yogurt, I'm basically vegan already. Oh well. There's holidays all the time.
Especially here. Any excuse to party. I'm still waiting for the 'Day that ends in Y' party. Someone throw it.

Speaking of parties-
Reasons I'm not going to Vocalloween:
1) It's $5 cover. I'm a starving college student. I don't think I'd be drinking $5 worth of liquor anyway (not when I could get it for free somewhere else).
2) It's freaking cold outside. I don't want to go out in it, even to get a ride. Blehh.
3) I don't have a costume. I've given up on finding/making one. It's November.
4) I have tons of shit to get together before tomorrow. Even more by next week.

Hope you guys all have fun. I'm a little sad that I'm missing out on the opportunity to hang out with the cool people I know are going, but there will alwayyys be more parties. (WTO Free Love party on November 30th. Be there.)

Je veux fumer mais je ne peut pas

So, I was going to whine about how I hate disappointing people, letting them down, blah blah blah, but no one wants to hear that. I made a decision. I'm going to have to make more decisions in the future. People who make decisions get things done. I like getting things done. I like being pragmatic.
I'm rambling. Whatever.
So, I have to watch Thelma and Louise for my Freshman Seminar and pick out a scene that I think is nonessential. I was thinking that it would be funny, but it's really, really not. Fuck. This movie is depressing.
It's good though. Good acting, and entertaining. Geena Davis is beautiful.

Speaking of acting, I'm in WTO's production of King Lear. I have a small part, but I do something kinda cool/important, and the show is really damn cool. Lauren (the director) is setting it in D.C. in 1968, so free love, Vietnam, hippies, and the Oval Office. I think I'm gonna be in Secret Service garb for most of the show. Woohoo.
Also, I need a business suit. I think Eric is my best bet for finding one that fits, but he's in Claremont.
Any volunteers?

Stress is getting to me sometimes, but not nearly as bad as it used to. It just seems like everything is better here in California, at USC, now. I guess this is what it means to be happy with your life. I'm happy. This is great.

Oh blegh, it's 1:11 and I'm getting up at 6-something to go to the gym, because otherwise I won't have time tomorrow. I go class, class, lunch/work, class, choir, small break, rehersal. Thursdays are my busy day.
Whatever. ("I'm going to Mexico. I'm goin.")
Catherine is so nice to help Pearson with his Chinese at one in the morning.