tell her we need sterile gauze

It's been a loong and unpleasant week, and I feel like I haven't really even done anything. I have been meaning to write this for a while though.
Things you should know about me:
- I make lists. This is one of them. Other notable ones, all ongoing in my head include:
*People i credit with saving my life (this is one I was actually going to type out for you, but now I think it's best if I just let you wonder if you're on there. I do want to give a special thank you to Alex M, Tal F, Mikey Y, and Sky (??) who are the only people who may have -actually- saved my life when I may have accidentally given myself alcohol poisoning).
*People I'm not giving up on
*People I have given up on
*Things I wish I'd done sooner and probably never will
*Fun but completely irrelevant facts that will probably never be useful to me (The capital of Latvia is Riga. 31 countries in the world speak French)
*Humanitarian causes I want to be involved with (There are too many for me to focus, and sometimes that makes me feel completely useless)
*Things I want to learn but don't have time or finances (Photography, Cosmetology, Piano, Violin, Drawing in 2d, Russian, Tagalog, Arabic and Hindu, Pilates, Ballet, it goes on)
*Reasons to live- There was about a month and a half during my junior year where I actually wrote these down. It helped, an I was always scared of the day when I wouldn't have one. Now just breathing, walking, speaking is enough. Most days.
-I meet cute boys at concerts.
-I eat an ungodly amount of fruit. It's just always around when I'm hungry. Like right now. I'm so about to go for some.
-My hair is blonde and fluffy, so people think I'm sweet. I wear really short skirts sometimes, so people think I'm easy. SugarySweet and SuperEasy is the ideal woman for someone who's never actually met me, so I get a lot of attention from mostly blue-collar guys on the street. It used to be an ego boost. Some days it still is. Mostly now, it's just kind of frustrating. A little upsetting too. (For the record, I wear short skirts because I have short legs and they need as much sun as I can give them. The end).
-When I'm sad, I buy books. Sometimes clothes too, but mostly books. This week, I bought eleven. I've started four of them and finished two.
-I want, more than anything, to make the world a better place. I want to make people happy, and sometimes I think that if I smile at enough people, say hi to them, that their days will be better and the world will get happier, like a ripple effect. Some days now it feels like it isn't enough and the world is sliding into hell. That's a metaphor and it's over dramatic. I don't believe in hell.
-I think religious people are lovely. I'm not one of them. I don't intend to be. If I mock your religion, well, that's probably because you're Catholic and I spent 12 years in Catholic school.
-I'm a really great girlfriend, but I make excuses to stay out of relationships. I'm over opening up to people.
-I have a feeling that last one could get me into trouble, but I don't think anyone's reading this far.
-I accumulate clutter. I recycle things, and so I save them. It provides a very nice metaphor.
-I don't like people who have no ambition. No goals. No drive. No creativity. To me, those people are basically dead. I'm pro-choice, and RtD. I'm very liberal. I'll defend my position, and I respect your right to defend yours.
-I hate my thighs and I feel inadequate if I don't write anything for a long time. Like now. Mhm. I haven't written for way too long and the last thing I started working on isn't finished. I'll be okay though.
-I used to be a poet. I don't write down most of my ideas anymore. I miss being a songwriter. I secretly always wanted to be in a band. I used to be really confident that I could sing. Now I don't feel so great.
-Despite everything negative that I just wrote up there, I'm really really happy. I'm so happy. I love California. I'm home.