you won't be seventeen forever.

I miss Laser tag.
And bumper cars.
I don't miss panic attacks and social anxiety.
But I really do miss easy fun.

I accidentally went shopping for antiques today. Who does that? I felt old.
For someone who thought she was washed up at 18, I guess that makes sense.

I almost set my entire kitchen on fire tonight. A paper towel caught, and then it ripped into two pieces. I couldn't get either one to go out in my hand, and then I dropped them both on two bags of groceries and doused them in cranberry juice to put them out. Then I stood there, staring at the black and red mess covering my floor and I had a moment really like this one- the broken mirror, where I just took it all in for a moment thinking, "Well, okay. This is an interesting life experience."

It's been a good night.

Thought for the day. This is a quote from my friend's blog. I think it speaks for itself, and it sums up how I've been living lately. In the last two weeks, I've made a lot of choices. Some that scare me. But I can't helping trusting myself. It's gotten me this far. I trust myself and I trust the world around me. Even still:

"sometimes i forget what kind of person i am, and it's strange to see bits of myself reflected in someone else's eyes."
Thanks, friend, for saying what I couldn't articulate, for all that I have words.